on obsessing...

so i've come to another decision. i will not read over my post 20 times before hitting publish. i just won't. i can stop anytime i want. really i can. watch me. ok not yet because i'm not done. with the exception of long squiggly red lines it will go just as it was without any revision. so...just a little more of the picture that is me. which if i was i think it would be a panoramic. i have a very large.....presence. yeah that sounds good. we'll go with that. oh and i have added 8 new comp books to my collection. oh how i love school supply sales. now just to decide what to do with them. right now they are safely sitting on the floor protected by the thin plastic of the store bag accompanied by a brand new pack of mechanical pencils. now to contemplate what will become of them. back on to obsession. well i guess i never really left. the first step to fixing a problem is admitting you have one. i have lots of them. but one at a time. this particular one has caused endless numbers of gifts to go unfinished. numerous skeins of yarn ended up useless because they had partially been used then the work unraveled and redone so many times it's beyond saving. thank goodness i got burnt out on sewing a few years back or the fabric collection would rival some craft sections in wal-mart. mostly because that was where most of the fabric came from. i so miss that dollar a yard fabric table. hubby, i'm sure is thankful. i wouldn't doubt he had some part in the disappearance of a source of my happiness. the fact that he grounded me from wal-mart might have been my first clue there was a problem. the fact that i adhere to his punishment and inadvertently found they had started carrying yarn at the dollar tree! omg they had fancy fur and such for a dollar a skein! you're insane not to load up. i saved sooo much money. even if i had to hide it in my car and wait till he was gone before unloading it and then packing it away at the bottom of the storage tubs and carefully cover it with stuff i knew he would never look through. then they ran out. and there was a great sadness that rippled through my very soul. mostly because i had hidden the yarn in multiple places and can't seem to find it now. so...there it is. the bare ass nekid truth. i'm doing a little better. i make a point now to first ask if someone would like something before i start a project. it helps ease the anxiety of "omg will they like it? what if it's not perfect? what if i picked the wrong color? what if it doesn't fit? what if? what if? what if?????" and it saves me the expense of buying everything i need and then not even starting it or worse, using half of the materials so there is not enough for another project then convincing myself they will hate it. or i get distracted by another project i just so absolutely have to do or i will just die! or...i misplace what i'm working on... so, here's a step towards recovery. ok, i'm tired. where are my car keys........