on the aftermath...

So there I was, standing on the back porch.  Shivering from the frigid wind blowing through all 4 layers of shirt, scrub top, fleece pull over and jacket.  From somewhere in the sky I hear an odd noise.  As I look out in to the yard I see birds fluttering madly in all directions.  One, obviously disoriented, flew right back in to the chain link fence and proceeded to burst in to a  morbid cartoonish puff of feathers.

Not having my glasses on it took a lot of squinting to identify the hawk that was now perched on the fence.  It hopped back and forth along then length then plopped down to the ground.  It, unlike me, was not deterred by the cold.  Screw this.  I didn't have my glasses on anyways.

So today I ventured out in to the yard to see if there was any evidence of yesterdays grand display of mother nature.  I took some pictures and emailed them to Mom.

Horribly I thought, maybe it was just an English sparrow.  Sad in a way that one piece of nature would hold a lesser value that another.  Then I felt bad for a minute and took another picture.

Hmmm, maybe the red ones were from the hawk.  That makes sense to me.  Then...there was this...

A little later that afternoon Mom answered back my email.  Cardinal.  Her knowledge of birds is astounding.  Her ability to identify a bird by what little of it's grizzly remains seen here is...disturbing?  HA HA, just kidding Mom.  You're a wealth of knowledge and wisdom :)  Love you.

So, the moral of the story?  I know Mom had posted her thank you to Mr. Disney a while back.  It made me think soft thoughts to myself on how the world really is.  Then, for the first time in a very long time, I noticed that I was not bawling uncontrollably at the sight of this massacre.  The last remains of the pretty bird did not leave me in a pile of sobs and snot.  Maybe the vitamins are working.  I have been feeling...better?  Not as bad?  Different.  It's a vaguely familiar feeling.  I think maybe, that light at the end of the tunnel isn't a train.  Maybe that's where I'm suppose to be.  So onward we go.  I hope to see you on the other side.
>^. .^<

on a walk...

It looked so pretty outside today.  With the hard freeze last night I was sure it had to have killed off any mosquito or other nasty little blood sucking terrors the rain had woken.  After some  coaxing I convinced hubby to go for a walk.  We harnessed up our dog and headed outside.  He stared bewildered as I proceeded to get in to the car.

"I thought we were going for a walk, not a ride." he says.
"We are," I replied, "in the park!"

I'm sure there were some grumbles under his breath as he reluctantly got in to the car and rolled the window down.  Something about missing the end of the football game.  Fortunately for him I'm not up to very long walks.  We drive about 3 blocks and pull off at one of the many trails.  He proceeds to start walking with our little dog in tow.  She easily keeps pace with him as I fiddle with my camera.  He stops and looks back, sees what I am doing and hangs his head with a sigh.  I could see the thought bubble pop up above his head, "This is going to take forever..."  HA!  Little did he know of my ulterior motive of wanting to get some pictures of the last remains of fall before it turned into fell.

We trekked along in that comfortable silence of relationships that don't require words to fill every moment.  Hand in hand, on we went.  I looked at the various plaques and monuments to either side of the trail.  Morbidly I thought out load, "All those signs are pretty much markers that say 'A lot of people died here.'"  He chuckles.  Ok, so I don't care for too much silence.  Even the birds have taken the hint from last night's hard freeze that it's time to get-on-outta-here.  The soft crunching of the leaves beneath our feet was the only sounds of nature.  "Looks like we missed the leaves changing," I sighed.  "I didn't miss it at all." he grins.  Hubby may look like a mountain man but seems to lack the love of nature and all the wonders it holds.  Well aside from those he can shoot when the appropriate season opens.  It's kind of like being married to a sexy version of Elmer Fudd.

So we reach the end of the trail and start going back to car.  I notice now that our shadows have stretched out before us and start giggling to myself at how funny they look.  To help with the visual hubby is about 6' 6" tall and I'm 5' 4" at best.  Our dog is a mere 8 lbs and resembles an angry fuzzy slipper.  I start snapping more pictures.  Each time I stop he stops with me so he doesn't walk in to the line of fire.  He had already barked he didn't want his picture taken because he didn't have his hat on.  Of coarse I proceeded to take one as soon as he got a couple of steps ahead of me.  So finally he stops and asks, "What are you trying to do?"

"I'm taking pictures of our shadows."

After a moment of thought he holds his hand out to me and I take it.  He then starts holding it at funny angles and I'm thinking oh goody, a shadow puppet show.  "Here, hold your hand like this," he says.  At first it took me a couple of seconds to realize what he was doing.  Once it sunk in what he was trying to do I almost dropped the camera I was so shocked.  I couldn't believe he had thought of it.  I soooo take back the Elmer Fudd thought from earlier.

This picture I snapped just a few yards from the car.  It's funny sometimes how you don't notice a thing until something else opens your eyes.  Perhaps romance, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder.