on the aftermath...

So there I was, standing on the back porch.  Shivering from the frigid wind blowing through all 4 layers of shirt, scrub top, fleece pull over and jacket.  From somewhere in the sky I hear an odd noise.  As I look out in to the yard I see birds fluttering madly in all directions.  One, obviously disoriented, flew right back in to the chain link fence and proceeded to burst in to a  morbid cartoonish puff of feathers.

Not having my glasses on it took a lot of squinting to identify the hawk that was now perched on the fence.  It hopped back and forth along then length then plopped down to the ground.  It, unlike me, was not deterred by the cold.  Screw this.  I didn't have my glasses on anyways.

So today I ventured out in to the yard to see if there was any evidence of yesterdays grand display of mother nature.  I took some pictures and emailed them to Mom.

Horribly I thought, maybe it was just an English sparrow.  Sad in a way that one piece of nature would hold a lesser value that another.  Then I felt bad for a minute and took another picture.

Hmmm, maybe the red ones were from the hawk.  That makes sense to me.  Then...there was this...

A little later that afternoon Mom answered back my email.  Cardinal.  Her knowledge of birds is astounding.  Her ability to identify a bird by what little of it's grizzly remains seen here is...disturbing?  HA HA, just kidding Mom.  You're a wealth of knowledge and wisdom :)  Love you.

So, the moral of the story?  I know Mom had posted her thank you to Mr. Disney a while back.  It made me think soft thoughts to myself on how the world really is.  Then, for the first time in a very long time, I noticed that I was not bawling uncontrollably at the sight of this massacre.  The last remains of the pretty bird did not leave me in a pile of sobs and snot.  Maybe the vitamins are working.  I have been feeling...better?  Not as bad?  Different.  It's a vaguely familiar feeling.  I think maybe, that light at the end of the tunnel isn't a train.  Maybe that's where I'm suppose to be.  So onward we go.  I hope to see you on the other side.
>^. .^<